i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
