hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
