College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
