Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
