puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
