Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
