Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
