Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
