I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
