Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
