They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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