What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
