I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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