drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
