I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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