Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I have already put on my inside pants.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
