i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
