is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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