Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
