im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
