So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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