I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
