You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
