so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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