Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
