Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
