It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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