Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
nutella sex= disaster
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
