But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
