I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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