Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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