true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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