Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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