Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize