I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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