She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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