I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
