She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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