scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
