I'd wear matching sweaters with you
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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