she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We just shotgunned beers for America
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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