you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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