I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
we're making bets on your personal life
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
