quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
