I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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