Who wears a wallet chain?!
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
