That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
