dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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