I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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