my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
We smell like vodka and hangover
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