We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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